Dear 13-Year-Old Self

Dear 13-year-old self,

Your world has recently gotten bigger.

New school.

New friends.

New expectations.

New pressures.

New temptations.

New questions.

 

You find a new sense of insecurity you’d never known before.

Unsure of your changing body.

What clothes are ‘cool’?

Where do I fit?

DO I fit?

 

Everyone around you seems so confident, sure of themselves.  I guarantee you, they are not. They’re all trying to find themselves as well and you’ll never find yourself looking around you.

You will only feel more unsure of yourself. 

Insecure. 

Not good enough.

Too short.

Too plain.

Empty.

Don’t believe the lies that you must fit in the box to be accepted. Loved. Pretty. Cool. Wanted.

The box is not meant for you and will only tear you apart as you try to conform and contort to fit inside, something you were never created to do. 

 

Take off your mask.  Take off the layers of costumes you wear to fit in to any group or occasion.  Take off your strong persona and Be You.

Be Real. Be Vulnerable. Be Open.

Be Happy. Be 13. Be OK with where you are, right now.

You’re a work in progress, and there’s such beauty in that.

 

Don’t follow the crowd.  Stand for your beliefs, your convictions.  Stand for who you are, I promise you won’t be standing alone.

There are others who want someone to stand with, who don’t want to follow the crowd, don’t want to compromise.  Who believe in truth and purity and innocence.  Who are fighting the same fight amidst the garbage and screams of society to find their way.

Don’t settle.

 

Stop looking to society to tell you if you’ve met the standard, I can tell you you never will. 

It’s not real. Not attainable.

Stop chasing the white rabbit down a hole you will spend years trying to claw your way out of.

 

Your body is not your enemy; it is an amazingly beautiful instrument.  You will do amazing things with it.  It will bring forth life.  It will show you your amazing strength.

Accept it.

Nourish it.

Love it.

Protect it.

 

Before you take that next step—stop.  Look next to you. There is Jesus. He’s there. He never left. Take His hand, turn around and walk into all He has for you.  You don’t have to walk this road of doubt, self-destruction, and self-loathing.

You are worthy. Worthy of real friendship. Worth the time. Worth the wait. Worthy of this life.

You are beautiful. True beauty that radiates from your heart, not your weight.

You are enough.  Good enough. More than enough.

 

With love,

Your healthy, happy, whole self

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Writing this was surprisingly hard.  Because I know the road this young self takes and the pain and heartache that followed.

But I also know what she will overcome because of Christ.

I know the victories. The healing.  The life that will one day flourish.

And though I can’t save her from that hard road now, I’m encouraged because I will one day share these nuggets with my own daughter, and with God’s grace she may not walk this road.  One day this testimony may help another young girl.  Maybe it will help you.