Princess Under Attack

I hear the not so subtle screams of society telling our littles they’re just not good enough.  Not perfect.  I hear it in every magazine, commercial and shop window.  The blatant attack of clothes that hiss, “Eat Less”. 

But what is perfect?

Is it a pant size? Weight? Cup size?

It is, in itself, unattainable. 

Yet our society floods our sisters with images telling them that is exactly what they need to achieve to be accepted.  Loved. Wanted.  Beautiful.  Good enough.

And the more we strive to fit a mold not made for us, the emptier we feel.

And that hole cannot be filled with diets or drugs or sex or makeup or food or alcohol.  Those things only leave us feeling deadened, dirtier, and filled with shame.

It is like Alice chasing the rabbit down the black hole, and we fall further and further away from ourselves.

It is a hole only God can fill.  An ache and yearning only He can soothe. 

Daughters! Sisters! Darlings!

You are not a size.  You are a soul.

You are not a number.  You are a name.

 Ladies, your worth is not determined by the number on the scale, the size of your pants or the curve of your hips.  It can’t be measured or weighed; it goes far beyond anything tangible.

You are beautiful because of WHO you are and WHOSE you are, not WHAT (size, number, weight) you are.

You are beautiful because of what only you can offer: Yourself.

 Your heart.  Your dreams.  Your beauty. Your uniqueness.

And instead of fighting with all we have to guard the very things God has given us that make us so extraordinary, we loathe our temples and destroy them in an attempt to attain empty promises that only keep us from reaching our destiny. The lies keep us focused on what we think we are not—

Perfect enough

Pretty enough

Small enough

Tall enough

Smart enough……

And we completely miss seeing who we truly are—

Strong.  Unique.  Lovely.  Wise.  Smart.  Beautiful. Powerful.

But we will only see ourselves correctly when we see Him correctly, because only He Who created you can tell you who you are.  We will always feel empty and lost and inadequate as long as we continue to look to the world or others for validation.

The screams of lies can be deafening the longer we choose to listen, but isn’t it time we start screaming back? Fighting back?  Standing up for our littles?

We are not mindless drones.

We are not called to be timid, people-pleasing, pushovers.  We are called to ROAR!

To lead. To create. To inspire. To bring life.

And the world desperately needs your voice.  Our littles need strong, fierce, loving, passionate and free women to lead them.  Not ‘perfect’ women, exhausted from striving with nothing left to offer because they sold it all for empty promises. 

Be a fly on any wall at the salon, restaurant or girls night and what does the conversation inevitably seem to turn to at some point?

Weight. Diet. Exercise. Food.

Someone’s trying the newest fad diet.  Someone else is so unhappy with ‘this’, while pinching at their sides.  Someone else can’t eat this, this or ALL that.

Where are the life-giving, empowering, encouraging, self-loving ladies?

When did our world become no bigger than the size of our pants?

We are women! We are world changers! We are life givers!

Are we instilling self-confidence, identity and self-love in our littles by our words? Or is self-deprecating comments all they hear us speak about ourselves and others?

They need someone to show them the way and speak the truth of who they are in contrast to the garbage they are plagued with. 
They need someone to turn off the blaring radio of empty promises and whisper the truths of who God created them to be.

They need you, me, us!

They need us to take off the masks of insecurity and striving and show them how to be real, raw, and vulnerable.  And show them that in those moments, that’s where they’re truly strong.

They need what only you can bring--Your life. Your strength. Your vision. Your unique perspective of Christ.  It is a role only you can fill.

But we’ll never change the world and set women free buying into the lies the world feeds us.  It keeps us weak.  Chained.  Scared.  Powerless.

We must fight back.  Take a stand.  Be bold. Buck the norm.  And set a new standard. 

The fight is on for the lives of our princesses.

 

 

The Cost of the Thigh Gap

I’m standing in front of the floor to ceiling mirror that lines the walls of the hot yoga class as I’m waiting to begin.

Giving myself the once over, as we all try to do discreetly, and it sounds something like this….

“Holy frizzy curls, dang humidity gets me every time.

Man do my arms look good tan! 

Feeling a little bloated today but this shirt covers it well, good choice.

My thighs are looking strong and firm! Yep, definitely love these leggings, I wonder if they have them in a different color….

(check side mirror)

Dang my butt is getting big and looking goooooood! All those torturous hills are really paying off!  Getting a firm tooshy, nice.” (high five to self)

My eyes settle back on my thighs.  They are definitely strong, I run 4-5 times a week. But having been a gymnast my whole life, my legs have always been pretty solid.

Then I noticed that *gasp!*, there’s hardly a thigh gap!  (please note the sarcasm)

My thighs, and body overall, have gotten stronger and more muscular this past year as I have increased my mileage and racing.  I’ve noticed in how my clothes fit and yes, it did bug me at first.

But did I want thinner thighs or a stronger body?

The old me would have panicked. The free me loves that my body is healthy and strong enough to do what I love.

I used to have the ‘coveted’ thigh gap, though back then I don’t know that it had a name.  Well, it did, it was called an eating disorder.

It was called living off of 500 calories a day. (if you want to call that living)

It was called compulsive exercise.

It was called hair falling out, feeling like you live in an ice box, can’t think straight.

It was called being tormented day and night with thoughts of food and counting calories.

It was called losing friends and not being able to keep jobs.

It was called striving to reach an unrealistic and deadly standard that society called ‘beauty’.

It was called insomnia and migraines and fatigue.

It was called hell on earth.

And it was my life for too many years.

Listen ladies, it COSTS you something to strive to attain a standard that was never meant for you. 

It costs years of living in bondage. 

It costs your health.

Costs your joy. 

It costs your self-respect.

Striving to attain anything that God did not intend for you will always cost you something that you were not meant to pay.

You may attain the thigh gap, ‘perfect body’, boyfriend—but it will never fill you.  It’s an empty hole you continue to tumble down and lose yourself along the way because no IT or THING can ever fill you.

And guess what? Next month the standard will change.  A new fad. New diet. New part of your body that is no longer good enough.

Here’s a question: WHO in the blazes decided being able to see between your thighs is the standard? I have no idea yet you let the ‘all knowing’ dictate what you should be and look like.

Nuh uh. I don’t think so. No thank you.

I could go back and be a 25lb underweight walking hanger for my clothes, utterly miserable—but with a thigh gap! OR I can be healthy and happy and living life to the fullest, with or without the thigh gap.  Because come on ladies, what does that thigh gap actually DO for you???

Will it make you a better runner?

A better wife or mother?

Will it make your husband love you more?

Make you the prettiest?

Or make your friends like you more?

Dear God I hope not!

You are so much more than the size of your thighs or the number on the scale.

 

There is a price to the thigh gap, or really, what it represents. And its not worth it.

So come on ladies, it’s time to fight back. Time to find your voice again and say enough! 

You are fierce and passionate and powerful and beautiful and have so much more to offer this world and your families than a plastic perfection that leaves you empty and exhausted.

Pick up your swords, it’s time to battle.