One Run

One run.  Seems simple enough.  Boring even to some.  I mean really, what’s the benefit that makes it so necessary?  Can one run change your life? Probably not.  Can it change your perspective? Most definitely.

Aside from the obvious physical perks of better health and all that goodness, some days that one run teaches me more about myself then I could have ever imagined….

Some things good, encouraging even; some things ugly, scary perhaps.

The lawyer in my head giving his best case as to why I should give up because the anvils I formerly called my legs are screaming for mercy.

The whining that can go on makes me want to run faster, away from myself!  I mean, I can’t stand when my daughter whines but when it’s the voice in my head I can’t escape, that will about make you mad.

Some runs feel like a nonstop battle of good vs. evil, which in and of itself can be utterly exhausting.

Those hard runs can stir those feelings of doubt, as a runner of course, but also as a wife, mother, friend?

 

But then there are those runs I didn’t want to do to begin with:

I was tired.

Not feeling good.

Not in the mood.

Oh so comfy snuggled in my bed.

 

And I went anyway. I won the battle with the nonsense excuses and told my body to get in line.

I ran even when it was hard.  I didn’t stop. 

I pushed boundaries. Pushed miles. Pushed pace.

I ran and ran and ran some more.

I finished the race.  Overcame the obstacles.

I superseded my own expectations (or even own limitations) to surprise myself. 

I PR’d.  I pushed myself to the limits and refused to concede.

 

Sometimes I finish those runs, the ones I didn’t want to get out of my warm heaven for, and feel as cruddy and exhausted as when I started.  It was hard.  My body was tired. There will always be those days.

But I learn from that one run.  Learn where there is still weakness.  Physically and mentally.  Where there is doubt in myself.  Fear, even. The question of ‘good enough’ will again rear its ugly head.

I also learn my strength.  Courage in the face of fear and doubt.  That my body is beautiful in so many ways.  That I am an overcomer.  That I am only required to give my best, in every situation, not perfection.  Give the best of myself to my husband, daughter, friends.

 And I learn that my feelings don’t rule my future. 

My doubts don’t dictate my destiny.

 My fear doesn’t determine my fate.

 Yes, I can learn all that from one run…..

 

Oh, The Places You'll Go....

This past week has been an adventurous one.  And I’ve learned and re-learned a few lessons along the way….

On Monday I ran my 3^rd half marathon in 4 months and beat my PR by just under 5 minutes. On Wednesday I celebrated my 4^th wedding anniversary.  And on Saturday Mr. M and I climbed our first 14er to celebrate. 

Whether you’re running a race, working on your marriage or climbing a mountain I feel there’s one common key:

Keep. Moving. Forward.

In a recent blog The Perfect Storm I talked about my last half just falling apart, some due to uncontrollable circumstances but also because of things that I let slip through the cracks. So when I signed up for the next half I was determined to do everything in my power to make sure I was prepared for this race.

I put in the time.

I put in the miles.

I watched my nutrition.

And I was feeling GOOD.  I felt confident going in that I could really come back and possibly? hopefully? break my PR?  But I was still cautious after bonking the last one.

But all my hard work paid off.

I felt better in the last 6 miles than I did the first 7. I was picking up my pace.  My legs felt stronger and stronger with each stride.  I had a negative split!

I could tell I had put in the conditioning as the race just seemed to fly by and I PR’d.  I was feeling mighty proud of my accomplishment and all the hard work I had put in…..

Then comes Wednesday and can you believe it, it’s been 4 years of marriage!  I can’t tell sometimes if it feels longer or shorter than it really is but it’s crazy to see how far we’ve come in that time.  Had a baby, moved across the country, pursuing our dreams…. But that communication thing, um ya, still a work in progress….

Yes, we still struggle with communication. *Gasp!*  No our marriage is not perfect, shocking I know.

So our anniversary was not ideal.  The Lord still uses us to bring out those areas in the other that are not like Him.  We are still a work in progress. 

It is never fun to be in discord, especially in your marriage.  But I truly believe it’s in those times that you can either move closer together or further apart.  It’s a choice.  And it’s not always easy.

But every time you choose to take just one more step forward, you are claiming a victory.  You are not allowing discomfort, complacency or selfishness to have a foothold.

So we had our moment, took some time and then addressed it the next day.  We regrouped and moved forward. 

Then came Saturday! We packed up the car before dawn and headed out to Breckenridge. 

Mr. M had planned a little getaway for our anniversary and in McCord fashion we were going to celebrate by hiking Quandary Peak, our first 14er!  (A mountain of more than 14,000 ft. elevation at the summit).

I was so excited! This was an adventure, and we were doing it together.

We filled up our camelbacks, threw some snacks and GU’s inside, grabbed our cameras and headed off! 

The first 1/3 was all through the trees and was mainly a dirt trail. As we climbed over the tree line it started to turn into bigger rocks and at one point I could only describe it as when Gollum is leading Frodo up those narrow stairs to Mordor in The Lord of the Rings.   Only the view was much better. 

Hiking through these rocks was intense. There was a long stretch that was a really slow grade which was a nice reprieve because trying to navigate through was taking all our focus and energy.

Just before the final ascent that looked like it went straight up for at least a mile we stopped and took a picture. All grinning and cheesy. Completely clueless to what we were about to go in to.  It was probably better that way….

That final climb to the summit took everything we had. It climbed so quickly the altitude really started to affect us.  We hadn’t eaten a ton before we started, having no idea what we were really getting into.  Mr. M was feeling nauseas and I was getting dizzy.  We were tired, our legs hurt.  We took short breaks and just kept moving slowly.

At one point Mr. M just wasn’t sure he could do it but we were so close.  I encouraged him and he dug deep and just put one foot in front of the other until, VOILA! We did it!! 

We were standing on the summit of Quandary Peak.  We were at 14,265 ft. elevation surrounded by mountains in every direction and looking over them all.  It was a euphoric moment.  What a victory. 

Like I said, it was an adventurous week and I learned a lot. 

You want to run a great race? Keep moving forward.

You want an awesome marriage? Keep moving forward.

You want to climb that mountain? Keep moving forward.

This week I felt like that’s what the Lord kept showing me.  There’s no easy route. They’re no shortcut. 

It takes Effort.

Time.

Sacrifice.

Discipline.

Climbing a mountain isn’t easy.  There was no chairlift to the top. No escalator down.  You have to put in the work and just keep moving forward.  You want that view from the top, move your butt.

Running a race isn’t easy.  You have to put in the work. No one can do it for you.  But the feeling of pride when you slaughter your PR because you worked for it, it’s more than worth it.

Marriage isn’t always easy.  You have to make an effort to stay engaged.  You can’t phone it in.  Life will happen and get in the way if you don’t make it a priority. You want a great marriage, invest in your spouse.  Put in the time.  Put in the effort.

No matter what the arena is, you eat an elephant one bite at a time. 

You climb a mountain one step at a time. 

Oh the places you'll go if you just Keep. Moving. Forward.

 

The View from the Top

I just started training for my 4^th half marathon coming up on Labor Day and am really looking forward to it.  And after my last half that was a total disaster (and will be its own blog later) I really want to redeem myself. 

So a couple weekends ago I set out for my first early morning long run. I had found a new trail online that I hadn’t run before and the only thing I knew about it was it was super close to home and a mix of paved and gravel. Perfect.

I walk out to the trail head just past this random water tower, start my watch and find my pace. A couple minutes in there’s a clearing of the trees and WOW, the most breathtaking view looking over the city. Bright blue, clear sky and the mountains just look majestic. As I follow the trail I realize I’m briskly going down a rather steep hill….and down…and down, quickly. And I knew what this meant: the amazing summit view I started at was going to be the incline I’d have to take to get back to my car at the end of my 6 miles. UGH.

I tried to push that thought out of my head. I got back into a steady pace as I finally made my descent into the surrounding neighborhoods and enjoyed the scenery of a new trail.

Just under 2 miles in I come to an incline. I’m not talking Indiana ‘hills’, I’m talking look straight up and not able to see the nearest plateau. And this one is all red, gravelly dirt. Talk about a glut workout!

I finally made it to the top to see another amazing, breathtaking view.   The city and subdivision I had just run through was laid out before me. I did a slow jog around the lookout point to take it in and then headed on.

And then I come back down. And down. And down. Which normally is heaven and much welcomed, but on this run all I could think about was knowing I’d be running back UP those inclines on the way back. Grrrr.

Mile 3 was a steady incline and I was overlooking the east side of the city now, my neighborhood and stores, still so beautiful. Such an amazing perspective that I never see on my day to day errands. The view from the top truly is amazing.

Until I headed back for the last 3 miles…. I can see 2 major intersections in the direction I’m heading back and then I see it: on the next major ‘hill’ there is the water tower. Gulp. That’s where my car is. That’s where I still have to get to. And I realize once again how high up I am over the city, and how far down, and up, and down I must go.

For a second I was trying to figure out how to have my husband come and get me. I didn’t know exactly where I was. Didn’t even have my phone. But I just wanted him to come find me because I knew what I was facing on the way back. I was having a momentary pity party until reality sunk in, there was no one coming and I still had 3 miles to go.  Either I run back because let’s face it, that’s where the car is. Or I sit here and well, sit here.

So I kept running.

It was rough. It was hot. I was tired. My legs were angry with me. The inclines were unforgiving. But.  I. Kept. Going. And I finished in surprisingly great time.

That was hands down THE hardest, hilliest trail I’ve ever run. The inclines were killer and the downhills weren’t refreshing. But the view! Not to mention I felt like a beast after finishing that!

You hear of people climbing crazy mountains and you see a picture from the top and WOW. The view. But you never realize the sacrifice it took to get there. Granted I’ve never climbed a mountain but right now these are my own personal mountains, my own accomplishments and the views from the top are worth the fight from the bottom.

In every area of our lives we have uphill battles at times. 

 It’s hard.

Life isn’t always easy. It takes work. It takes sacrifice.

Things aren’t always fair. You’re tired.

But the ONLY way to get that view from the top is to never give up. You can sit at the bottom having a pity party and hope someone will come and find you. Or you can put one foot in front of the other and make it happen.  It’s the difference between looking at someone else’s pictures and experiencing the view for yourself…

 

 

 

 

Run This Race

A few months ago I watched my husband, sister and a huge group of friends complete their first (for most) Indy Half Marathon.  It was bittersweet for me because I was excited for all the newbies getting to experience this amazing race for the first time but envious that I was not also out there, toeing the line amidst 30,000+ other runners.  My heart longed to be out there, next to my husband as he ran the mini for the very first time, to be his support, lend him my ‘expert’ advice, and run this journey with him.  But being that I was 8 months pregnant and was unable to run as I had planned during my pregnancy, this was to be a race he’d have to run alone, and I would have to watch.

Everyone had started training in January.  It was cold and wet although it got unseasonably warm in March, it didn’t stick around and it went back into the cooler weather basically up until the week before the Mini.  Since there were lots of new runners I got to hear all their stories about how far they went, their time, how much it sucked or that they puked in someone’s front yard.  This was exciting for me—It was so awesome to see people find they could go further than the boundaries in their head, see them really push themselves and step out and do something they never thought they could.  Breaking those limits they or someone else had put on them at some point in their life.  Breaking the “I could never’s”.

I listened to stories about blisters and new shoes and target heart rates and fueling and when to Gu, crappy runs and PR runs, I was in heaven at least a little. But my heart longed to join them. Longed to run, let my legs go and just cruise. I wanted to be a part of the excitement and buzz.  Vicariously living the race excitement through my husband was still not the same as doing it myself.  What a reflection of our own relationship with the Lord-- that intimacy with the Him only comes when we ourselves enter in, bow our hearts and welcome Him in to that well in our heart that is only meant for Him.  We can never expect to enter in to that intimacy and go deeper without actually entering in ourselves. No one can do it for you.

I actually I learned a lot from being on the spectator side of the race this time.  I realized how much of a passion and lifestyle running has become for me.  I was reminded that no matter how much I want it for someone, they have to want it as much for themselves. No matter how much advice I have to offer, experience or knowledgeable resources I have, everyone has to run their own race, their own way.  I also realized that no matter how fun it was to be the spectator, there is nothing like running that race yourself. The time that was put in, the discipline, the finding the You you never knew was in there, none of that can be found sitting on the sidelines.  Just the same we must each find our own secret garden, prayer closet, holy hole that is between you and the Lord. Your parents’ relationship with the Lord will not sustain you.  Your friends that are on fire for the Lord can never take you to the holy of holies.  I have to want it, I have to discipline myself, no matter how much my mom may want it for me, only I can get to that place with the Lord.

So I found a spot right by the finish line and waited for my husband to cross so he could see me and I could meet him right away. While I was there I got to see the hundreds of other family members and friends there cheering on their loved ones. Saw hundreds and hundreds of people coming in to the finish, some walking, some kicking it in the final dash home, and a few actually collapsing feet from the finish line, all with a look of determination & achievement, and sheer exhaustion.  You could see the toll it took, the sacrifice.  All to cross that finish line and say “I did it”.  Some may find that silly or pointless but in the midst of the legs screaming and blisters and pain you dig deep and find one of two things:  I did Not prepare for this! Or Here we go! And pull from your training and kick it.  And just like our lives, we have those times we must dig deep, but what do you find?  Have you gone deep, dug and filled that well with the Lord so that in those trials you have something to pull from?  Have you put in the time, disciplined yourself, found that secret garden where you meet the Lord and are refreshed, prepared for the final stretch?  Or have you sat back enjoying other’s stories of divine meetings with the Lord?  Not made the time to meet with Him yourself?  Living on your parents’ relationship with the Father?

Are you finding that last oomph for your final kick at the end or are you that guy I passed on the ground feet from the finish line?