The Girls

There are these girls I know, they’re beautiful.

Funny. Smart and witty.  Go-getters.  Discerning and wise beyond their years. 

They just don’t know it yet.

They have beautiful hearts capable of extravagant love.

But they’ve been hurt. Wounded. Disappointed.

And who they are makes them stunningly beautiful.

But they can’t always see it.

They’ve been lied to. Put down. Rejected. Caused to doubt the beauty they have to offer.

So they build a wall around their hearts and it goes higher and higher like Rapunzel’s tower, until they’re trapped in their own tower of self-protection.

Too scared to offer their hearts.  Be vulnerable.  Offer their strength and beauty to the world.

So they become docile. Or destructive.  Timid or a tyrant.  Passive or pushy.

All in the name of self-protection.

Haven’t we all done that at some point? We are trying to protect ourselves but all we do is close off our hearts and keep everyone at arm’s length.  Either with a nice “Back Off” written on our foreheads or a fake smile and superficial conversation.

And our heart becomes harder and harder as we lose the joy of true relationships on our island of one.

But we still want it. Crave it. Yearn for our hearts to be re-awakened.  To stop walking through the motions like zombies and connect.  To feel again.  To be real, to be loved.

And it takes great courage to get there.  Vulnerability. Strength.

It’s scary. What sacrifice will it require?  How will it look to walk out? What will it look like on the other side? Outside of my tower?

And there, the fear of the unknown and the desire for true life collide.  Do we sink back into our tower, or throw open the gates and run?

You want freedom? Really want it? You have to stand on the edge of the fear of the unknown—and jump.  Or step. Or swan dive. Or cannonball into the unknown.

And in that moment it is no longer unknown, and now there is nothing there to fear.

Ladies, who you are called to be is on the other side of the fear of who you think you are not.

Your destiny.  Your strength.  Your life—it is found in that moment when we choose to no longer stay ‘safe’ and powerless in our towers and jump into the unknown and conquer fear.

Fear of hurt. Fear of failure. Fear of disappointment. Fear of not being loved.

When we take that leap, not knowing what’s on the other side, is when we put our faith and trust in God as our Father, knowing He will catch us. 

Love us. Heal us. Restore us.  And then empower us to set the other captives free.

Don’t be fooled, they’re all around. Women living in their pretty little towers of self-protection and fear.

And they need others to come and love them, speak life and encourage them as they take their own swan dive of freedom.

About a month ago I told my husband, “These girls… They’re amazing; they just don’t know it yet.”

But you know what? They’re getting it. 

I see a light in their eyes. 

A spark of adventure and hope. 

A fire in their hearts for more. 

A God vision of who they are and what they’re meant for. 

Their beauty awakened. 

Their hearts alive, their joy renewed.

Watch out world, they’re already dangerous….. And they’re starting to see it.

Princess Under Attack

I hear the not so subtle screams of society telling our littles they’re just not good enough.  Not perfect.  I hear it in every magazine, commercial and shop window.  The blatant attack of clothes that hiss, “Eat Less”. 

But what is perfect?

Is it a pant size? Weight? Cup size?

It is, in itself, unattainable. 

Yet our society floods our sisters with images telling them that is exactly what they need to achieve to be accepted.  Loved. Wanted.  Beautiful.  Good enough.

And the more we strive to fit a mold not made for us, the emptier we feel.

And that hole cannot be filled with diets or drugs or sex or makeup or food or alcohol.  Those things only leave us feeling deadened, dirtier, and filled with shame.

It is like Alice chasing the rabbit down the black hole, and we fall further and further away from ourselves.

It is a hole only God can fill.  An ache and yearning only He can soothe. 

Daughters! Sisters! Darlings!

You are not a size.  You are a soul.

You are not a number.  You are a name.

 Ladies, your worth is not determined by the number on the scale, the size of your pants or the curve of your hips.  It can’t be measured or weighed; it goes far beyond anything tangible.

You are beautiful because of WHO you are and WHOSE you are, not WHAT (size, number, weight) you are.

You are beautiful because of what only you can offer: Yourself.

 Your heart.  Your dreams.  Your beauty. Your uniqueness.

And instead of fighting with all we have to guard the very things God has given us that make us so extraordinary, we loathe our temples and destroy them in an attempt to attain empty promises that only keep us from reaching our destiny. The lies keep us focused on what we think we are not—

Perfect enough

Pretty enough

Small enough

Tall enough

Smart enough……

And we completely miss seeing who we truly are—

Strong.  Unique.  Lovely.  Wise.  Smart.  Beautiful. Powerful.

But we will only see ourselves correctly when we see Him correctly, because only He Who created you can tell you who you are.  We will always feel empty and lost and inadequate as long as we continue to look to the world or others for validation.

The screams of lies can be deafening the longer we choose to listen, but isn’t it time we start screaming back? Fighting back?  Standing up for our littles?

We are not mindless drones.

We are not called to be timid, people-pleasing, pushovers.  We are called to ROAR!

To lead. To create. To inspire. To bring life.

And the world desperately needs your voice.  Our littles need strong, fierce, loving, passionate and free women to lead them.  Not ‘perfect’ women, exhausted from striving with nothing left to offer because they sold it all for empty promises. 

Be a fly on any wall at the salon, restaurant or girls night and what does the conversation inevitably seem to turn to at some point?

Weight. Diet. Exercise. Food.

Someone’s trying the newest fad diet.  Someone else is so unhappy with ‘this’, while pinching at their sides.  Someone else can’t eat this, this or ALL that.

Where are the life-giving, empowering, encouraging, self-loving ladies?

When did our world become no bigger than the size of our pants?

We are women! We are world changers! We are life givers!

Are we instilling self-confidence, identity and self-love in our littles by our words? Or is self-deprecating comments all they hear us speak about ourselves and others?

They need someone to show them the way and speak the truth of who they are in contrast to the garbage they are plagued with. 
They need someone to turn off the blaring radio of empty promises and whisper the truths of who God created them to be.

They need you, me, us!

They need us to take off the masks of insecurity and striving and show them how to be real, raw, and vulnerable.  And show them that in those moments, that’s where they’re truly strong.

They need what only you can bring--Your life. Your strength. Your vision. Your unique perspective of Christ.  It is a role only you can fill.

But we’ll never change the world and set women free buying into the lies the world feeds us.  It keeps us weak.  Chained.  Scared.  Powerless.

We must fight back.  Take a stand.  Be bold. Buck the norm.  And set a new standard. 

The fight is on for the lives of our princesses.

 

 

Not Your Average Beauty

I’ve started training for my second half marathon this past month & just finished up a not too bad run this evening.  As I was finishing my hair in the bathroom I realized, I have my body back. 

Now it’s 8.5 months post-baby but I'm not talking baby weight.  The baby weight came off quite some time ago.  And I don’t mean I’m finally back to pre-baby shape because I have a ways to go to get there. 

What I mean is, I see the beauty again.  And by that I don’t mean physical beauty.  As women especially I feel like we need to redefine what the word Beauty even means because we have been bombarded with such a deceptive & self-deprecating understanding of that word. 

 I mean that beauty that you find in using your body for those things it was created for.

Those things that exhilarate you. 

Those things you have a burning passion for. 

Those things that bring you joy. 

When you are more you than any other time. 

Those moments may be short or long, and there can be more than just one.  One of them for me is running.  Seeing how far I can push myself, what I can discipline my body to do and enjoying the fruits of it. 

 I get such joy out of running; physically it is great for my body but also for my mind.

It’s ME time.  It’s quiet time with the Lord.   

For others it may be painting or cooking or mountain climbing or triathlons or being able to play with your kids the way you want.  And that’s what’s so beautiful about it—there is no number we must all meet, no size requirement you must achieve to be able to enjoy the beauty that is already in you. 

 I spent more years than I would like to remember destroying this one & only body but God is faithful, He healed and restored the damage I had done.

But those years of torment and deception, of truly believing beauty was a number or pant size or certain caloric intake has opened my eyes to see what a great and saddening contrast there is between the world’s definition of ‘beauty’ and what God considers beauty. 

From seeing myself through the lies of the enemy, to the eyes of my Creator.   And trust me, God does not see our beauty in our pant size.

 It’s in our hearts! 

It’s when we are using the gifts & temple He has given us and finding joy in it that He is most pleased, that our beauty shines through. 

It’s in our very existence because we were created in His image! 

When you can look and see yourself through His eyes, you see true beauty. 

When you truly find Who you are in Christ you find your beauty within, because He will radiate through you.

When you are doing & fulfilling your call in Him you find your beauty. 

And no one can tell you differently when the One Who created you tells you “you are all beautiful my darling, there is no flaw in you”, Song of Solomon 4:7. 

So I challenge you, have you found your beauty? Do you see it?  Show the world ladies because there are young women out there who don’t know where to look for it and they need you to stand up and show them!