The Cost of the Thigh Gap

I’m standing in front of the floor to ceiling mirror that lines the walls of the hot yoga class as I’m waiting to begin.

Giving myself the once over, as we all try to do discreetly, and it sounds something like this….

“Holy frizzy curls, dang humidity gets me every time.

Man do my arms look good tan! 

Feeling a little bloated today but this shirt covers it well, good choice.

My thighs are looking strong and firm! Yep, definitely love these leggings, I wonder if they have them in a different color….

(check side mirror)

Dang my butt is getting big and looking goooooood! All those torturous hills are really paying off!  Getting a firm tooshy, nice.” (high five to self)

My eyes settle back on my thighs.  They are definitely strong, I run 4-5 times a week. But having been a gymnast my whole life, my legs have always been pretty solid.

Then I noticed that *gasp!*, there’s hardly a thigh gap!  (please note the sarcasm)

My thighs, and body overall, have gotten stronger and more muscular this past year as I have increased my mileage and racing.  I’ve noticed in how my clothes fit and yes, it did bug me at first.

But did I want thinner thighs or a stronger body?

The old me would have panicked. The free me loves that my body is healthy and strong enough to do what I love.

I used to have the ‘coveted’ thigh gap, though back then I don’t know that it had a name.  Well, it did, it was called an eating disorder.

It was called living off of 500 calories a day. (if you want to call that living)

It was called compulsive exercise.

It was called hair falling out, feeling like you live in an ice box, can’t think straight.

It was called being tormented day and night with thoughts of food and counting calories.

It was called losing friends and not being able to keep jobs.

It was called striving to reach an unrealistic and deadly standard that society called ‘beauty’.

It was called insomnia and migraines and fatigue.

It was called hell on earth.

And it was my life for too many years.

Listen ladies, it COSTS you something to strive to attain a standard that was never meant for you. 

It costs years of living in bondage. 

It costs your health.

Costs your joy. 

It costs your self-respect.

Striving to attain anything that God did not intend for you will always cost you something that you were not meant to pay.

You may attain the thigh gap, ‘perfect body’, boyfriend—but it will never fill you.  It’s an empty hole you continue to tumble down and lose yourself along the way because no IT or THING can ever fill you.

And guess what? Next month the standard will change.  A new fad. New diet. New part of your body that is no longer good enough.

Here’s a question: WHO in the blazes decided being able to see between your thighs is the standard? I have no idea yet you let the ‘all knowing’ dictate what you should be and look like.

Nuh uh. I don’t think so. No thank you.

I could go back and be a 25lb underweight walking hanger for my clothes, utterly miserable—but with a thigh gap! OR I can be healthy and happy and living life to the fullest, with or without the thigh gap.  Because come on ladies, what does that thigh gap actually DO for you???

Will it make you a better runner?

A better wife or mother?

Will it make your husband love you more?

Make you the prettiest?

Or make your friends like you more?

Dear God I hope not!

You are so much more than the size of your thighs or the number on the scale.

 

There is a price to the thigh gap, or really, what it represents. And its not worth it.

So come on ladies, it’s time to fight back. Time to find your voice again and say enough! 

You are fierce and passionate and powerful and beautiful and have so much more to offer this world and your families than a plastic perfection that leaves you empty and exhausted.

Pick up your swords, it’s time to battle.