C'mon Ladies

I have these women in my life. They are married. They are single. They are mommies.  They aren’t mommies.  They work outside the home. They are homemakers.  They are athletes. They are artists.  They are fierce. They are strong. They are compassionate and loving.  Some live down the street and some across the country.  They are my friends.  They are my support group.  They are my people.  Yes, I just referenced Grey’s Anatomy….

No matter what our differences, we seem to have this common thread: we have this innate response in hardship, trials, etc to try to go at it alone rather than reaching out or asking for help. It's been a common theme I've seen amongst so many women, myself included. Maybe it’s because we are Strong. Fierce.  Self-sufficient. We can do it all, remember? We are Moms. Wives. Independent. Career women. Driven.  We can do it all, right…?

How often do you hear or have you said, Why didn’t you call me? Why didn’t you let me know you were struggling with…? Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you ask?? If you’re a lady and you’re reading this, this rings true beyond measure.  Why don’t we ask for help? Why don’t we call? Why don’t we reach out?  For some you don’t have someone you trust, but I don’t believe this is the majority. 

I think we need someone to reach out and push those walls we put up.  Step into our space and let us know we're not alone. Then continue to bug the stink out of us to make sure we know we are not alone. Because isn’t that truly what we want?  As women, to know we’re not in it alone?  To know someone else has walked this road.  Someone else has made that mistake in a relationship.  Can’t see themselves as worthy of more.  Has totally bombed it as a parent.  Is overwhelmed or depressed.  Has been sick and needed someone to help with the baby??  Someone else has BEEN THERE… and needed help as well.

I believe the Lord is all about building relationships and He uses our weak places to let us see our need. We need Him.  We need each other.  We need community. WE ARE NOT ALONE. 

I don’t know why women as a whole we have this bend, I can only speak for myself….

I don’t want to be a burden. I’ve done it so many times before on my own. I got this. Push through.  Everyone else manages, don’t be a baby.  You’re being ridiculous.  They don’t have time for you.  You’ll be rejected. Turned down. Let down.  Disappointed. 

You see where my head goes? Why?

Past hurts, insecurities and so on.  I’m sure many women feel this way. And I’m sure many others have many other reasons. None of which are invalid or unimportant.

You are important. You matter. Someone cares. You’re not alone. Your heart matters.  You’re Not Alone!  It’s important.  Someone wants to be there. It’s OK to struggle! It’s OK to need help! We need each other. We need real relationships.  Real life. Real touch.

That doesn’t make you weak. Doesn’t make you less of a women. Less of a wife. Less of a parent.  God has created us to need Him. To need relationships. To need others. He did not make us to be self-sufficient, independent, islands.  Right? 

So here’s my encouragement, Ladies, reach out for help! And Ladies, reach out to others!  If you’re doing good, I’m sure there’s someone in your life, circle, community that needs a nudge.  If you’re not, find those women around you that you trust and lean in. 

You’re not a burden.  You’re not weak.

You are worthy.  You are needed.

Let the Good Times Run....

This past Sunday I ran my second half marathon and had a blast.  As the race got closer and closer people would always ask if I was ready for it and to be honest I had to say this was the Least prepared I’ve felt for a race.  I hadn’t built up my weekly mileage as I should have, I was pretty lax in following my training plan, I hadn’t run in over a year, had a baby, the altitude was still a factor in affecting my pace and at times felt I had hit a wall or boredom with the day to day runs.  And of course the week of the race my foot started hurting whenever I walked and it sounded like tendonitis, awesome.

I actually preferred my long runs over the short weekly mileage because I would pick out a new trail every time and go run it. The new trail, scenery, the exploration of a new place really made the run enjoyable and the miles fly by. 

Usually my runs are my quiet time with the Lord, I can clear my head, work through things and just enjoy a great workout; but lately they’ve just been runs.  No grand conversations with the Lord, no great breakthroughs, no revelations or insight. Just runs. And hard ones at that.  I didn’t feel like I was making progress, instead of feeling like I was building on the last run, every run was just work. Some days I couldn’t seem to catch my breath the whole time. I wasn’t finding the joy in my run like I used to. This was Hard!  And that was frustrating. But I had signed up, made a commitment and would follow through, no matter how slow or ugly it was.  I have a little person who will always be watching me… How do I react when things are hard? Do I quit? Do I give up? Or do I persevere? Stick to my commitment?  I can’t expect her to do any differently than I myself can example.  It should be Do as I DO….

So I pushed along and finished my last long run feeling good going into the race, until the foot pain of course.  It seemed to get worse and everything I read and heard was rest, rest, rest. So I opted not to run at all the week before the race and pray that that would be enough rest and my foot would hold out through the whole 13.1 miles.

We drove up to Denver the day before, went to the Expo, got all settled in and I was oddly calm. Excited, but not nervous like my first half.  Even as we were lining up, waiting for my coral to be released there wasn’t that anxiousness and ‘Ohmygosh I have to pee Again!’, but a calm and excitedness, I was really looking forward to this!  I love the buzz in the air, thousands of other people who are up at 5 am as well because they love to run!  For one older lady in my coral, this was her 65^th half marathon! Mad props….

My coral was released and I was off, trying not to go out too fast and trying to get a feel for my foot.  It hurt on and off the whole run but was very manageable.  We ran through the Denver Zoo, through some beautiful (and some not so much) neighborhoods and through the Aurora Fire Station.  I didn’t turn on my IPod until the last 2 miles. I took in everything on the run, the funny signs—my favorite: “I didn’t get up this early to watch you Walk!”, the people sitting in their front yards eating a bowl of cereal and coffee, the animals in the zoo, the view of the mountains in the distance, all the different people around me.  It was awesome. 

The last 3 miles I was all out going for it, I didn’t want to finish and feel like I could keep running.  I was booking and it was so much fun! I saw my family waving about a mile before the finish line and that gave me an extra boost, they always make me smile.  Of course the last mile lasted at least 2, felt like forever but as I saw the finish line in view I, as I always do, picked as many people that were in front of me to pass before crossing the finish line. I was flying!  I love pushing myself and my body, pushing the boundaries in my head, pushing my body when it thinks it’s done and surprising myself. 

I finished a minute and a half slower than my first half 2 years ago, So close! Stupid bathroom break… But with all the factors going against me…. Altitude, poor training, not having run for over a year, had a baby, bum foot; I proved I could still press through.  Yes, running is just that, running, but it’s something I love.  I find more of myself in each run, especially the crappy ones.  My true character comes out, the real attitude, the real me—good, bad, and ugly. 

Training for my first half went very smoothly and I found a great sense of accomplishment in finishing.  Training for this one was Way harder, a lot more to overcome, but this time in the end I found a great sense of joy, again. I’m already signing up for my next half in July!

So what do you love? What is your passion? Go after it! As Pastor Brock always says, Live Your Love! Don’t let the day to day or overwhelming obstacles keep you from it. There will always be a reason you think shouldn’t or can’t, but when the guy pushing his disabled adult son in a full length wheelchair passed me, I knew I had no good reason why I couldn’t do what I love.  So I keep running….

 

Mommyhood

I wrote this a few months ago and just came across it, thought it was fittng and a nice reminder this Mother's Day...

You can do all you know, read & are advised in preparation for being a mom, but there’s just no way to grasp what is about to happen in your life until you experience that life changing moment.  People can talk about being tired from the first months of sleepless nights, but until you Are that walking zombie, you just don’t know.  You can hear about morning sickness & your body no longer becoming your own over the 9 months, but until you spend months in the bathroom & that baby bump gets in the way of your daily routine, you just can’t understand.  And people can tell you about that moment your child is born, but until you Hear their first cry with your own ears & see that little person wriggling about with life, you will never truly understand how Much your life is about to change. Or how much you could love someone you just met.

Peanut is 8 months old and is an ever-rambunctious, curious, adventurous, chatty little girl with a joyful personality and a busy little body.  My life changed the moment I heard her cry and has been changing ever since.  But not in the “I can never go back to my old, fun ways” but rather I got a promotion into Mommyhood.  That almost secret society of women that you just Can’t seem to understand until you’re there.  Because again, talking or hearing about it just can’t express what it means. 

Sadly I felt like I heard a lot more, almost complaining, if you will from other moms about that transition.  The lack of sleep, which was Rough to say the least. But in that I had to learn Patience, seriously relying on the Lord to help me keep sane when I just couldn’t get her to stop crying & go to sleep!  Because really, it was my own selfishness that I was tired & crabby and She was keeping me from my beloved sleep.  But do I let her dictate my mood or response? Gosh, I hope not.  Hearing how they can become ‘such brats’ and ‘won’t listen’ and it all made me sad because while yes, she has her moments, she is the child and it is my job to direct her & teach her.  To respond in love & discipline and train her up in the way she should go.  Is it trying some days? Heck ya!  I spend some days All day just telling her no, slapping her hand or toosh & then watching her go back to the same thing Again and doing it all over. 

I feel I have found more joy in learning to be a mom than in most anything else I’ve ever tried or attempted to do in my life.  Has it required sacrifice? Every day.  I have my moments when I Just want to go for a run, but I can’t because it’s too cold to take her with. Or I have to wait til it’s cold & dark when Mr. M gets home.  I can’t join those runs clubs because they run before he gets home to watch her.  Will this season pass? Of course.  Do I still have a mini fit in my head?  Of course.  But I wouldn’t trade it.  Seeing her face light up when I walk in the room in the morning.  Hearing her squeal and ‘talk’ all chatty while playing with her toys.  Getting to watch her learn new things.  Her weird fetish with chewing on shoes and the way she plays with her ears when she eats or is laid down for bed.  These moments will pass too soon & I when I look back I won’t remember the runs I didn’t get to do, but I will remember these moments & I don’t want to have missed them because I was too busy wishing to be somewhere or doing something else.